Lily had a whole bunch of marbles, and she decided to create her own container for them. She struggled with scissors, tape, cardboard, and glue to create a box-like structure with a base and cover before declaring “I need help! This keeps falling apart!”
Daddy comes to the rescue, bringing his capentry skills to the table. “OK, let’s see what we’ve got here. Show me your bottom.”
Lily backed up to him and dropped her pants.
(She still doesn’t understand why we laughed and laughed)
Several hours after a conversation about a scene in a movie where a little girl’s appendix was removed….
“What if my stomach hurts so much that the doctors have to remove my independence?”
Lily, explaining the medications that her dad takes every morning (due to kidney transplant) to her younger brother:
Daddy has to take the medicine to make his body work. You see, a long time ago, Daddy’s gills stopped working…
Setting the scene: Lil and her dad were jumping and playing in a huge pile of leaves. Lily dives in and hits her head, and emerges from leaves rubbing her noggin.
Ouch, Daddy! I hit my head! I hope I don’t have amnesia. Wait a minute, amnesia is a pretty big word, and if I had amnesia, I probably wouldn’t remember that word.
I punished Lily yesterday, she wasn’t allowed to go to a birthday party. She was still whining about it this morning:
Lil: Mommy, what’s the punishment for today?
Me: So far there isn’t one. It’s a fresh, new day.
Lil: When there is one, will you tell me ahead of time so I can weigh my options?
Did I mention she’s 5 years old?
While trying to explain the unexpected death of someone close to John:
Lily: Was he old and his body quit working?
Me: No, he had an accident.
Lily: You mean he peed in his pants and died?
While gazing up at John from the shopping cart:
“Hey, Daddy….I think there’s a spider stuck in your nose. I can see its long black legs up there.”
Her: “Why can’t I go to that movie with you?”
Me: “It’s not a movie for kids.”
Her: “What kind of movie is it?”
Me: “A mystery. It may be too scary.”
Her: “I’ll just come along, Mommy. You know they say mystery loves company.”
I called today to make my yearly ob/gyn appointment. The receptionist asked if Lily is coming, and then I remembered why she was interested in my kid. At the last minute I had to bring Lily to my annual pap smear and exam. We stopped in the bathroom on the way in so I could leave a urine sample.
She is a very curious kid, and I always speak frankly to her about our bodies, but I really didn’t want her blasting me with questions from between my legs with my feet up. I thought I came up with a clever solution. I brought a bag of peanut M&Ms, put a chair up near my head, and gave them to her right when we started the exam. She stayed put, asked just a few questions, and ate all the candy in record speed.
I got dressed, feeling quite pleased about how well it had gone. Then the sugar kicked in. As we opened the door to walk back through the waiting area (now packed with people) to exit the building, Lily yells excitedly, “Hey everybody!”
In a split second my stomach lurched as Lily prepared to make an announcement of some kind.
“My mommy can pee in a cup!”
At the Faire, a kind woman (who had no idea what she was getting herself into) told Lily that the yellow wax in her ears is faery poop.
“That’s rude behavior.” *Thoughtful moment of silence* “Then where do they pee? And what do they wipe with?”
Update: Continuing the fae poop conversation:
“Well Mommy. I don’t think they are trying to hurt our feelings. It’s affectionate poop, right?”
